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In our fast-paced, tech-driven world, the concept of connection has taken on new meanings. While we are more "connected" than ever through social media, smartphones, and the internet, it is widely known that digital “connection” is nowhere near as powerful or beneficial as real life, face-to-face connections and relationships.
At Reconnect, we feel strongly about creating meaningful in-person relationships and creating community, as we see the incredible benefits and wider impacts that creating and engaging in those spaces can have. It is the reason we are named “Reconnect”.
So what does it truly mean to connect, and why is it so vital to our well-being and societal health?
The Problem With Loneliness
The concept of loneliness being a significant public health issue is explored in Vivek Murthy’s book, “Together”. Throughout the book, Murthy shares multiple examples of research studies & their findings, highlighting the incredibly detrimental effects that lack of connection can have. He highlights how loneliness triggers the release of cortisol and raises blood pressure and blood sugar levels. This biological reaction, meant to be a short-term survival mechanism, becomes harmful over the long term, leading to chronic stress and inflammation.
Perhaps some of the most striking examples of the research are that the effect of loneliness on mortality is comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or that those with weaker social connections are 50% more likely to die prematurely. So aside from being unpleasant - deep in our hearts none of us want to be lonely - it is also incredibly crippling.
Murthy discusses the societal trends contributing to the loneliness epidemic, such as increasing individualism, technological advancements, and social media use. While technology can “connect” us, it often leads to superficial interactions, detracting from meaningful relationships.
The Essence of Human Connection
At its core, human connection is about forming meaningful bonds with others. These bonds are not just about sharing space or time but about sharing our experiences, emotions, and thoughts. To create a deep and meaningful connection, it involves empathy, understanding, and a mutual exchange that enriches both people involved. Brene Brown, acclaimed Social Worker, researcher and story-teller, defines connection as "the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship."
In a world of busy, transactional interaction, actually taking the time to truly ask how someone is and listen to them can seem difficult. Societally we are encouraged away from empathy and vulnerability, so having deep conversations with others seems confronting. Encouraging yourself to ask the other person more personal, emotionally-driven questions can be more rewarding and gratifying than you think, and strengthens your connection with that person. This is where the magic happens, because at the centre of connection is caring.
It is through these interactions that we can build a community of support, creating a sense of belonging that our survival instincts desire so strongly. When we feel safe in this regard, we are able to be vulnerable with each other and form trust. This helps to build our resilience to challenge and capacity to manage and overcome stress.
The Psychological Benefits of Connection
Numerous studies have shown that strong social connections are linked to increased happiness, reduced stress, and a longer life (remember that 50%?). When we connect with others, we experience a boost in our mood and overall mental health. This is because connection combats feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can lead to depression and anxiety. The simple act of talking to someone who understands us can be incredibly therapeutic and allows us to feel a level of importance or significance.
The Impact of Technology on Connection
Technology has revolutionised the way we interact with the world. Social media platforms, messaging apps, and video calls allow us to stay in touch with friends and family across the globe. However, this digital connection can often be superficial. The curated nature of online interactions often lacks the depth of face-to-face communication.
From a neurology perspective, while we are in each other’s presence, our mirror neurons activate. These nerve cells activate when we see someone else doing something we are doing, or encourage us to do the same action we see someone else doing. This builds rapport and becomes the building blocks of empathy. Further to this, there is some evidence to suggest that our electromagnetic field (we are both electrical and magnetic beings, so we emit a frequency in terms of electrical charge and magnetism to the immediate space around us) can be felt by others and can actually interact at some level with their electromagnetic field. This is not achievable from behind a phone screen.
Reconnecting in a Disconnected World
In a world where disconnection seems to be growing, it’s crucial to find ways to foster genuine connections. Here are some strategies to help build and maintain meaningful relationships:
Prioritise Face-to-Face Interaction: Whenever possible, opt for in-person meetings and catch ups. Whether it’s having coffee with a friend, attending community events, or participating in group activities, face-to-face interactions build stronger bonds.
Regulate Your Nervous System: we perceive our world through the lens of our nervous system. That means if our fight or flight system is active, we are more likely to perceive other people, events and situations as a threat. This is because of the way our brain function changes in response to the physical changes that occur in our bodies when the fight/flight system is active. Regulating your nervous system to ensure your rest and digest system is active most of the time (as it should be) can help to change the way your brain functions and thus the way you perceive your outer world. This allows for more joy, empathy, understanding and thus connection.
Practise Active Listening: When speaking with others, focus on truly listening to them. This means putting away distractions, making eye contact, and responding thoughtfully when appropriate. Active listening shows that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings, and builds the groundwork for a collaborative and mutual relationship.
Be Vulnerable: Sharing your own experiences and emotions can deepen your connections with others. Vulnerability fosters trust and allows for more authentic relationships. According to Brene Brown, vulnerability is essential for genuine connection.
Show Empathy and Understanding: Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Showing empathy helps to bridge gaps and build a sense of mutual respect and compassion.
Engage in Shared Activities: Participating in activities you enjoy with others, such as hobbies, sports, or volunteer work, can create strong bonds and shared memories. This can be low-key, like going on a walk or hike or having a hot drink together, or it can be more involved, like playing in a social sports team together, going to larger events like theatre shows or even doing classes together like learning a new language.
The Ripple Effect of Connection
Beyond personal relationships, connection plays a crucial role in communities and societies. Communities that foster strong connections among their members tend to be more resilient, supportive, and vibrant. They can better navigate challenges and work towards common goals.
The power of connection extends beyond the immediate benefits to individuals. When we connect with others, we create a ripple effect that can influence wider circles. Acts of kindness, understanding, and support can inspire others to do the same - through those mirror neurons - leading to the creation of a more unified, supportive and collaborative social culture. This then leads to a happier, healthier and more compassionate world.
Conclusion
In a time where the paradox of being digitally connected yet emotionally distant is prevalent, it is essential to consciously cultivate meaningful connections with those around us. By prioritising authentic interactions and fostering empathy and understanding, we find better personal fulfilment and we can also bridge the gaps in our disconnected world and create a more harmonious society. At the core of Reconnect is the understanding that connection underpins almost everything we do, and as such ensuring we have a strong, connected community can enhance everything we do.
These connections are the threads that weave the fabric of our lives, providing support, joy, and a sense of belonging. As Brene Brown so aptly states, “Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
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